I fumbled for the toilet seat, lifted it, undid my jeans, and pushed them down. Steadying myself on the wall, I sat, and let flow.My pee smelled and stung. I peed a lot. Dehydration. Drink water dummy.And then I was like, Why? I was supposed to be dead. Peace and quiet and dead. Why couldn't I be dead? I couldn't even kill myself successfully, not even with pills and a bridge to jump off of. Fuck, Fuck, FUCK. I felt tears tickle the corners of my eyes. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want. Getting out of the car, Micah spoke, his face hidden by the bright light of the camera."Hey, babe, what's up?" he asked, overly-nonchalantly."What is that?" the young brunette asked, grabbing her files from the car and walking towards the doorway. Micah backed up, filming Katie as if he was paparazzi and her a willing celebrity."Hello, baby," Micah replied, ignoring her question."Hi." Pushing him back through the doorway, Katie busied herself putting her keys on the cupboard by the door before. I wasn’t, I was still drifting on an air of euphoria but I didn’t tell him that. He expressed remorse that he had taken advantage of his drunk daughter; I took advantage of his guilt. I managed to steer the guilt trip to my needing an advance on my allowance. Dad fished out his wallet and gave me two twenties. I got the feeling he felt absolved by giving me the cash, but no matter, I was happy with the money. By the time we’d finished our pancakes, we were relating on a father/daughter. Arthur said that it was so embarrassing, how he’d be walking across campus and some girl he hardly recognized called out, “Hey, Arthur, some pass, hunh?” but I knew he liked it.As far as Dating 102, I let Arthur kiss me when he’d drop me off, but just a not-too-long kind. The bench in the grove behind the library was where we attempted the longer ones. As the bench was known for being that kind of bench, the rule said to make a warning noise when approaching. At Wesleyan, everybody knows the.
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